I wish to be very sensitive to the very special followers of my blog who I have been very moved by their journey through domestic violence and abuse. They know who they are as they were the first considerate and kind folk to respond to my blog whenI was stuck in Chicago…You know the place with big bathroom for my “Wheelchair”

Today I had a very special conversation with an two experts who rattled my world and rocked my boat.The fist person was in your face and blunt…Mate that’s a lot of trauma and abuse regardless of who you might be weak, strong disabled, enabled…For me blank look, dear in the headlights reaction…The other person gave me a simple analogy….She said, “Who is the protagonist Iason? If my partner broke his leg and I help a lighter under his knee and he jumped and reacted with anger, pain and rage, would he be the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse?” I said but I was taught that it was the other way round….Silence….recall…flashback…insight…

This is what was given to me to think about for later I have so much “evidence” that I can’t bear to look at…Wow where is my resilience? I tick all the boxes on this one but how to deprogram? I’m a clinician, but “heal thyself” is load of bullocks:

People are both perpetrators and receivers of Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Abuse. While the scholarly literature appears to imply that women more often experience incidence of domestic violence and abuse, there is also sufficient evidence to suggest that the prevalence of domestic violence and abuse is not gender biased. Men are less likely to report incidences of domestic violence and abuse than are women. 

The following warning signs of domestic violence and abuse are equally applicable to men and women,

• Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
• Rarely go out in public without their partner, or not go out at all.
• Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car. Or are confounded or confused about money matters outside of their immediate control

• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
• Go along with everything their partner says and does.
• Assertiveness is called abuse by the perpetrator
• One or both partners have a clinical condition